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Who’s that hairy dancing man? Well, it’s me. The funny thing is that I don’t even play a single lick in this entire song. All I do is dance.

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Moments to note:

1. See me look at the music? Nope I don’t have the chart. Where did it go? Oh well, I’ll dance some more.
2. I am completely out of shape. I can’t even dance for a whole song without wiping away the sweat.

If you are reading this post via some sort of news reader, pop on by to the site and take a look and the new look. I have the realization that my site wasn’t conducive to short posts, which I believe might hold me back from time to time.

I’ve dropped the comments as I didn’t feel that my personal site was really as interactive. If you don’t like the idea, then, if you know how to get a hold of me, drop me an email.

As time progresses, I’ll be adding a few things back in. Plus I’ll be adding little elements here and there.

Not bad for a sunday afternoon.

update: I changed my mind, and added them back in.

From my last post, I’ve concluded that this will be my year of Earth. I think it encompasses the solidity that I want to gain from the year.

This of course is a pointing arrow to possible other lessons that show themselves over the year.

Let take a foot forward and see what next year brings.

Although I have written 177 posts, I quietly say to myself that it’s not enough. I need to write more. And with the new year counting down, it’s about that time I start my yearly inventory and wonder, what will I do next year?

As I’ve said before, I don’t create countless lists of resolutions and then break them. I come up with a theme, and run with it and an analogy of what I want to learn. For example, this year was the year of fire. I’ve used it to ask:

What lights my fire?
What put’s out my fire?
How do I keep my fire burning?

This process has allowed me to look inward to make inventory of my own motivations. I’ve found it extremely helpful.

So what’s in it for next year?

I would like to change focus from inwards to outwards. I want to solidify from what I have discovered this year.

I’ll keep you posted with what I’m going to do.

I’ve been doing work around a personal aversion to the phrase “have to”. When I hear it, and especially when said to me, I always react “I don’t have to do anything”.

I don’t think anyone “has to” do anything.

I say let’s use more descriptive “need to”, “should”, “obligated”, “would like to”. All of which are different then “have to”.

So why? Well, I believe this term is used and beaten with a stick. It’s a dead horse, so I suggest, let’s all get off.

“Have to” came around at the end of the 16th century, which is the end of the Renaissance. Is it a coincidence that for a time when everyone is running around the countryside asking “why”, that people came up with “because you have to”? They wanted a way to shut them up.

It’s used as a blanket statement for people who don’t know, or don’t want to know. It’s used for people who want compliance.

Here is an example:

Person 1: “You have to [insert task here]”
Person 2: “Why?”
Person 1: “Because, you have to.”

Where have I been? I’ve been sitting on my couch and doing sweet FA. Why? Because I felt like it. To be honest, I’ve been in a funk. It’s not about earth shattering events in life. I haven’t gone through heart shattering events. Sometimes, I think, we all just hear a little “snap” inside. Could be burn-out, could be a string of unfortunate events, or it could simply be the way the wind is blowing or the weather outside. Sometimes a little sweet FA is what the doctor ordered.

Some might consider this wallowing, and they might be right. I thought it was wallowing. At first, my reaction towards my instincts, were that is was counter-productive. Wallowing doesn’t do any good but change my point of view to see all the crappy things. But then the thought occurred, maybe that’s what I needed. In the world of improvement, to ignore the bad, is the best way to build your own little invisible brick wall that will ultimately have your journey slam to a stop. You won’t know why, or how, or where it came from, but when you hit it, it will hurt bad. To improve, the bad must be looked at. We need to know when we are beating a dead horse, or even worse, riding one. I think the only way to really know for sure, it to put on the brown goggles, and look around you.

Not only that, but it’s like the blues. It’s called the blues because it’s…well…blue: “My baby left me”; “I’m in a broke down motel”; “I got no money”. Admitting it all, somehow makes you appreciate the beauty of the music. For some odd reason, realizing how much bad, makes you appreciate that a) your still kicking around and b) that through it all, there is still good.

Is my wallowing over? maybe, maybe-not. I’ll have some more ice-cream and decide.

Last week I was on course for Advanced Server Administration for Solaris 10. The whole experience was eye opening and insightful. Some really nifty features that we covered were Zones, AutoFS, RAID and JumpStart. In the process are started to wonder if maybe there could be something here?

Lately, I’ve been in a slump. It’s not a depression but a cross roads. I’ve been trying to fdind ways over this little bump. I’m at a stage where I’ve gone through and figured out what I’ve been natural at. I’ve made inventory of things I like and things I’m good at. I’ve also started to work on finding new things that cause a peak in my interest. But I’m at a bit of a stop sign because I’ve come to a point where I look at my inventor and say “great….now what?” Maybe some of you are in the same phase. I look at my little lists and try and devise a path or goal or career out of it. But from my limited knowledge of jobs, I can’t figure out what applies.

Some of this could be my artistic and renaissance nature. It can cause a bit of a conflict with todays specialist society. However, I’m not thinking so.

This is where I bring in my education. This is where, I believe, the act of learning can help. Not only does education or courses break up a day or work week. Not only do they push with labs and tests and timelines. Not only do they introduce you to new people, new things. But they shine a light on what I like to call “you-don’t-know-what-you-don’y-know”. They can add a perspective or two and maybe connect a couple of the dots. Perhaps you find out about a career or job that connects a couple of dots.

This of course is not the end of the journey, but in looking at my list, I’ve finding things that connect the dots. As we search, as with all journeys, each time we find something that connects the dots, when we follow it, there is something else, followed by something else. The journey is endless. But, at least along the way, we learn a thing or two.

Now for a personal plug of musical fun

For those of you in the Greater Vancouver Area, feel free to come out and celebrate the release of the Blue Morris 6’s first album, “Swing Me, Blue Me”. You can stay for for dinner or just enjoy some drinks and live music. I’ll be there playing with Greg, Blue, and of course, Carly. CD’s will be available at the show.

Please bring as many people as you can! We look forward to seeing you there.

Wednesday, August 23rd
El Cocal Restaurant
1037 Commercial Drive
7:30pm - $5

For those who aren’t in the city, province, or even the country, Blue has worked hard to make sure you aren’t forgotten. He’s set it up so you can order online.

I’m a liar. Not to friends and family, but I lie to myself. We all have done it. It’s the power and beauty of denial. The best part about it is we aren’t even aware of it. And when one is engaged in the act of personal development it will happen. You will be thrown off track by a faulty lead. Perhaps even more then just one.

Denial is a great tool to be able to live day-by-day. It’s all part of the survivor instincts. Why wallow on something or some part of you when you are being chased or when you should be hunting to feed your family. It’s counter productive. But then again their are times when you should confront it, because the issue in itself is causing counter productivity.

Denial is like a criminal. Some disguise themselves in suites and smiles. Others tend to be more vicious and seedy. Yours is just as diverse. Memories are altered for protection; false observations are made to make you feel better. So to cut through all of this, we need to treat ourselves like a cop would treat a suspect. The law is blind. It uses fact, and so should you. If your answers are arbitrary or vague, come up with proof. In business they have a 360 survey. They ask direct reports, peers and leaders about one person, you. And somewhere in the middle of all the questions, the truth is born. For you, create a case file. My own personal case file is becoming more like a mystery everyday. There are new suspects popping up, key suspects are changing and new plot lines being discovered all the time. I’ve even been the key suspect several times.

Some of you feel that you are like Shaft ,Columbo or Kojak and are the lone detective cracking the case. But for some, the lone wolf path isn’t right. Don’t be afraid to find a partner; don’t be afraid to admit, “I can’t do this alone”. After all, when you are one of the suspects, how could you trust all of your own answers?

My one bit of advise is to find someone neutral. We would all like to have our family and loved ones be our partner. But sometimes, through their best interest and projections, they throw in some curve balls themselves. This is why counselors and coaches exists. These are people who care about your well being, but understand the fine line. They are professional detectives.

Regardless of how you decide to handle your own denial, keep in mind it’s there. Although my analogy could help look at it more objectively, don’t beat yourself up. There is no need to lock yourself in an interrogation room. The act of questioning is enough. The act of realizing that you can lie will open up a new possibility in finding out who you really are. The act of asking the tough questions is all it takes to unlock your own mystery.

Get it…wash? It’s a liquid! Get it?

Not sure if this is a good thing or not. An article on NewScientist.com states “Drinking coffee makes you more open-minded” and on one hand that’s a good thing. But then goes on to say, “Moderate doses of caffeine can also make you more easily convinced by arguments that go against your beliefs”

Hun?

It’s good to be open minded, but “easily convinced”? For someone who drinks it religiously and addictively, does that make me flexible or someone that can be walked over? Does that make me adjustable or a hindu cow? Am I addicted to the caffeine or the relaxed perspective it gives me?

I know of some other substances that help people be open minded as well.