When my friend Vanessa makes a book suggestion it’s one to follow! So far The Alchemist is turning out to be a very poignant and powerful fable. At the core is a message about following you “Personal Legend” and the ups and downs that come along with it. I’m not done yet, so I’m not able to speak too much about it, but I’m so enthralled by it, that I had to share it with the world.
“…. These sudden inspirations… never happen except after some day of voluntary effort which has appeared absolutely fruitless and whence nothing good seems to have come, where the way taken seems totally astray. These efforts then have not been as sterile as one thinks; they have set agoing the unconcious machine and without them it would not have moved and would have produced nothing.”
- Henri Poincare (mathematician)
The warthogs? No. I started a small group class about tapping into our creativity and about creative writing. It’s held by a wonderful woman ( of which I probably will be referencing her as time goes by ) named Dari. With each class she has them come up with a name for themselves. With a little work and thought, we are The Chrysalis. Considering the definition I would say it’s a very fitting name.
wikipedia has pretty much the same definition, but I thought I would connect to it…it’s looking a little barren. Know something? Share
Official credo of the American Entrepreneurs Association
For the past 8 weeks, I’ve been going through a self-help process known as The Artists Way. It’s an interesting approach to rekindling your creative perspective/power/confidence. The intention is for me to be able to use it, to help figure out what it is that I want to be when I grow up. Or, in my generalist way, to figure out the things I don’t want to be, and then to have the vision to do everything else.
The not so good thing is, that in this 8 week process, I’m only on week 6. Why? Because life has decided to kick me in the nuts. It’s a bad soccer replay where the entire world ( not really, it just seems that way ) is watching as I fall to the ground holing my privates and praying, “please, oh please, let it still work.” And so, I’ve been repeating week 6 over and over. I’m now at the point of trying to figure out, do I skip and go on to week 7 or am I supposed to be stuck in limbo until I figure it out.
Well, what is the problem, some out there might be asking. What is it that makes week 6 so challenging. Ah yes, week 6 is titled “Recovering a sense of abundance”. So as I’m to the point of incredible penny pinching and paying for the kindness of strangers, it’s no wonder that this is a challenge.
So, back to the conundrum, “should I stay or should I go…” ( na na na na na, oh yeah, I’m a singer ).
I seem to remember in my brain of mine a lesson about needing to see things from all perspectives. For example, if you take any item, and place it in the center of the circle. You need to walk the whole of the circumference before you know what it is. If you just look at it, from say the east, you don’t necessarily know what it is. You could slowly move to the south and still be lost. You could even sit at one part of the circle for day’s trying to figure it out, but still because the other sides of the object are unseen you’ll continue to be baffled. Sometimes, you need to carry on, regardless of whether the picture is in perfect clarity, so that the clarity and understanding comes in hindsight, “oh yeah…now that I’ve seen it from this angle, what I saw over there makes perfect sense!”
On the other hand, the coincidence of the section, and my personal challenges, seems to line up way to much. It’s as if this is one of those cosmic lesson times. The ones that slap you over and over the side of your head until you get them. The kind of lessons that you need to learn to truly be stronger to handle what’s next to come. Just at the time when I’m supposed to learn about abundance, mine “seems”, or should I say “feels”, to dry up. As I think about this out loud, I don’t think it has dried up. It’s just changed. When we think of abundance, we think about the good old green and purple and blue paper we like to hold in our wallets. It’s all about the 1’s and 0’s in our bank accounts. But, maybe that’s the wrong abundance. In my time of need, I’ve had so many people reach out with help and guidance. Maybe it’s time I put the money aside and look at everything else I have in abundance, and work with that. I find when things flow, and you actually learn the lessons given, things fall in line. It’s like the whole trust, “leap and the net will catch you.” Well, if I focus on the other things I have in abundance, I’ll get what I need.
It’s an intriguing term I came across this past weekend. And since then I’ve been playing with the term in my mind, “generalist“. What is it? according to answers.com dictionary it is ” One who has broad general knowledge and skills in several areas.”
As I started to look out in the world for generalists, a question jumped out at me.
When in a specialist society, how does a generalist find their place?
As a child we are allowed the flexibility to try all sort of different and diverse things. We need to learn the fundamentals of life and the only way is through diversity: reading, writing, arithmetic, history, geography, etc…. There are various creative outputs we explore, because after all we where children. But as we grow older, society wants us to put a label on who we are. They want to put us into a category. Are you a organizational behaviourist, computer programmer, writter, career consultant? Our education system wants to know our “major”. What do you want to “specialize” in. We go through school and the higher and higher we get in our education the more specific we must become.
Even for our own economical safety, a choice must be made. Are you in computers or hospitality? Your daily job must conform to an industry. Unless you are born independently rich, you must choose. Those who don’t end up in a series of part time jobs just floating and the opportunity for financial freedom becomes bleak. And for those who do as they focus attention on one aspect or career, to make a living, there are thousands of other facets locked away slowly dyeing away.
Do you know what one of my scariest questions to answer is? “What do you do?”
I freak out. I panic. My mind races across several different aspects of me wondering is there one that is more important then the other? Is there one that I can associate more with? Ultimately I get this blank look on my face and say “I dunno…stuff”. The look of disgust that I’ve gotten has been almost to the point of discrimination.
Well screw them! I don’t want to choose. I want to stay open to all of me. If I’m a writer today and a quantum physicist tomorrow, so be it. If I’m a theologist today and an architect the next, then that is who I am. I don’t want to choose!
I am a generalist.
I feel incredible! I needed to yell that out into the virtual world. Why? This weekend I had the pleasure of being a child again. I went to camp. Yes Camp. It was like an intense condensed summer camp. All thanks to those at Creative Toolbox for the experience.
The camp was called The Creative Camp Experience. and it live up to it’s name and more. It was a shmorgisborg of people with different knowledge and experiences, yet funneled to the same goal of helping creativity.
I did things I didn’t think I could; talk to people I didn’t think I would; felt things I haven’t felt; remembered things that were locked away. It was beautiful. Everywhere I turned their were connections. The first night, I found out that one of the owners grew up in the same town as me, and graduated from the same high-school. That might not be so surprising if we were in Guelph, Ontario, however we were in Chilliwack, BC.
It helped me show that when I am tapping into my creativity, there are no coincidences or “chance” happenings. Somehow it all happens and turns out in a way you can’t explain. And along the way, there will be connections. There are a whack of meta-physical ways this could be explained. I’m not going to explain it like that. The best way is, “leap and the net will catch you”.
If you get the opportunity to go to a camp organized by Creative Toolbox, I strongly suggest you go, and enjoy!
3 weeks ago I started a personal program called The Artist’s Way. I’ve known several people who’ve done it, and one year I even got the book as a gift. For years I think I’ve started and stopped little bit’s of it, but I haven’t really committed to doing it until now. I haven’t written anything about it yet but, I’m sure as time goes by I’ll probably mention more. After all I’m only on week 4.
Anyway, the reason I’m writing about it this week, is because of an interesting exercise for the week. No reading, including t.v.. So, news aggregator is closed; msn off; email is … email is … off. Mind you ( bad me ), I’m going to do a periodic scan on subject’s for business only. ( I’ve hidden the message view so I actually have to double click to read the email. ( Coincidentally, I noticed Steve made a post about email reading and something similar to increase his productivity. ) )
Although there is some difficulty in this exercise, it reminds me that every spiritual path ( at least that I know of, correct me if I’m wrong here ) has some period of depravation: The natives and their fasts; Christians and the whole Lent thing; periods of silence in pretty much every spiritual belief. It’s good to go without.
For me the best thing is removing the distraction. I am the master of distraction. I sometimes will do absolutely anything to squirm my way out of something. Sometimes, even something simple like going for coffee. When I was doing the 9-5 I could go for 8-12 cups in one day. Did I really need that much? No. It’s just that it took me 10 minutes at a time to do so. Did I go for 8 cups on a good day? Nope.
So, my suggestion to you, is take a look at your day and see what you use to distract yourself from your own truth. Once you’ve figured it out…go without. See what happens.
When people call me a bullshitter, I take that as a compliment. I smile, and sometimes correct them and say I’m an improvisor. Because really, where’s the difference? When I was younger I picked up a saxophone and immerse myself in jazz. I learned how to improvise and the power of if. It’s all about spontaneous thought. It’s all about putting an idea out there without any hesitation. It’s a small element of that unconscious computer that Malcolm Gladwell delves into with his book blink.
Watch Who’s Line is it anyway?, listen to any jazz album and you’ll see/hear the beauty unfold. You’ll see a magical moment where things click. It all just comes together perfectly. Keith Johnstone, one of the improv theater founders, was quoted in blink to say “Good improvisers seem telepathic; everything looks pre-arranged.” Lines feed into lines, great moments seem to unfold in a wondrous way.
Now, for a moment, imagine your life unfolding like this. Try to think about the potential that this kind of power it could have on your life - a series of moments that just seem to click. I believe anyone can tap into this, they just need to know how. And really it comes down to 3 simple intertwined rules
Roll with it
When 2 actors are improvising, the minute one rejects the thoughts or ideas of the other, the entire sketch is ruined. Jazz uses the same principle, only instead of rejecting the thoughts, if you reject the chords or the rhythm you get a train wreck of sound. The beauty as Johnstone says “…is because they accept all offers made.” If someone in the sketch say’s “Your arm needs amputating!” You don’t say “No it doesn’t.” You accept that fact and might say something like, “It’s the one you amputated last time.” Much more interesting.
It’s a very common hurtle for new improvisers to fight. The idea that one needs to accept all offers, as Johnstone thinks, “…is something no ‘normal’ person would do.” But I believe that if you want to really tap into life, using this idea of improve, you must. It’s a critical element. So why is it that it’s so hard? One word: control. By rejecting someone else’s ideas, you’re trying to gain control. In essence you are stating “I’m the leader, not you.” The fight for power and control is definitely something that sociologists, psychologists and philosophers analyze over and over. It’s the alpha mentality: “I’m in control of my life.” But as many have pointed out, control is an illusion.
I say “roll with it”. If someone say’s turn left, turn left. If traffic is slow, drive slower. If someone asks if you want to do something, say “sure”. When you don’t fight the world around you and roll with it, you’d be surprised at what can happen. I had a burger in the Bronx at 1 in the morning; Ended up in Halifax to have an entirely paid for trip, and was a part of the International Tatoo, pretending to play the tuba. I even ended up moving from Ontario to BC. I can’t say my life has been boring by any means.
Nothing is “wrong”
I hate it when I hear people say the word “wrong”. I remember having an argument with a friend of mine in high-school about the idea. It was of course before I embraced this concept myself. She was arguing that she was never wrong, she want on to say “1 + 1 = 4″. I of course jumped and said that she was wrong. So to prove her point we had a chat with our math teacher on this. And matter of fact, the teacher said, well, it was possible if you re-define what “1″ is. You could theoretically prove that 1+1=4. And by this admission of the teacher, I saw something. I wasn’t wrong in thinking 1+1=2 and she wasn’t wrong in saying 1+1=4. We both were right.
So I really started to ask myself what is right and wrong? One of my answers is “It all depends on who you ask” If this concept is so subjective, how can it be a solid truth? To one person it’s wrong and to someone else it’s a breakthrough. To one person it’s funny and to someone else it’s cruel. One person thinks it sounds beautiful, and to another it’s crap. So why do we have terms like right and wrong in the first place? Again it comes down to the same reason why people have difficulty in “Rolling with it”.
When you say “You’re wrong” it’s the exact thing as saying “No”. It’s a control issue. You’re trying to be alpha. You’re trying to gain control of you’re life. You’re trying to control the world around you so that it fit’s into your perceptions and control it.
In the world of improv, there can’t be any wrong for the magic to happen. there can be dissonance and conflict, but that’s not “wrong”. These concepts are all subjective, it’s like listening to the difference between Thelonious Monk and Stan Getz. Dissonance will always turn to your idea of harmony and conflict will always turn to your idea of resolution if you just roll with it.
Play with balls!!
This is a great expression I picked up from a jazz director. When I first joined his jazz band, I was supposed to solo and I was pretty timid in what I played. He stopped the whole band and looked at me. I remember he was yelling “What’s wrong? Got something stuck in your horn?” As I was just learning at the time, I wasn’t confident in my playing. I told him that I didn’t know what I was playing. He looked at me and pointed to the empty auditorium behind us and said “Do you think any of these people really know what the fuck you’re supposed to be playing? It’s jazz! They don’t care! They’re stupid. It’s your job to tell them what you’re playing. You’ve got to play with balls! Play it like you mean it! You’re the musician and they aren’t! Tell them this is exactly what you’re supposed to be playing. Don’t back down. Hit the note, and play with balls!”
He was a crass man; a vulgar man. But he taught me that you need to have confidence. You need to believe in yourself and what you are doing and saying. Which ties into the previous idea of “nothing is wrong”. If you can’t be wrong, then why would you be timid? Why would you stress out about what other people thought. And the funny thing I’ve learned, is when you say it confidently, no one questions it.
Now the trick with these 3 rules is they all have to be used in conjunction. You can’t miss one of them. You can’t roll with it, and think something is wrong. You can’t be confident, and not roll with it. If one of these elements is missing in the process, then somehow it breaks down. It could sound o.k. The sketch could be amusing. But it’s not magic. It doesn’t “click”. They all rely on each other. They need to be in harmony for the spell to happen.
I believe improv can conjure powerful forces to allow things to work and click. And if you use these in your daily life, things magically come together. The things you should be doing become the things you are doing. Life becomes a great adventure of new things and new revelations, and ultimately you might find the life you wanted to live becomes the life you are living.
For those of you out there who have been following, you know that I’ve been trying to figure out my passion. Asking questions and evaluating everything about me. Trying different things and experimenting with finding “my” way. Well, this past week I’ve been on a downward spiral, second guessing everything and today was a very low point day. This whole process is very taxing on the emotions.
It’s a real roller coaster of back and forth, and back and forth. Even reading through my posts I can see my own emotional and mental yo-yo happening ( which is very reflective of the process ) . “I think it could be this….no wait…maybe it’s this…hold on…how about this…yes, I found the answer…nope, not it” It’s like being uncomfortable in your own skin, constantly trying to make adjustments to see if it fit’s perfectly, and just when you think, maybe just maybe, it crumbles to your feet.
Today, I was looking through all these lists and note’s I’ve made to myself and came to the conclusion it was all crap. They where all full of justifications and rationalizations. As I was reading them, the voice inside my head wasn’t mine. It was of the people who originally said them. It was the voices of people like my father, my friends ( past and present ), my brother, my teachers. Hardly any of it was my own. How is it supposed to be “my” passion, when it’s not even my voice inside my head? So, I threw it all out. I figured better to start again from scratch then sifting through the junk.
Days like today there is a dark side in my brain wishing I had never started this journey. It would be so much easier if I just stayed completely ignorant. I probably could have been content with what I was doing but that would have been the most I could be, content. And I don’t want that. I want fire and passion!
I couldn’t even go back if I wanted. There is a quote I often say, “I don’t know what I don’t know.” The catch is once you do know, you can never unlearn it. It’s like riding a bike. Once you’ve learned you can’t just wake up one morning and choose to forget. Even after not riding for years, the minute you sit on one, it’s all there, you’re riding again. I think that’s a beautiful thing about trying to figure yourself out. Regardless of the direction, you’re always moving forward.
Note: There is one thing I’m keeping, and that is my purpose statement. It made me cry, and that means it’s all mine.
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